Points that will help me when the wrong things set off triggers in my head
Always remember, there are no wrong triggers, only things which cause us to react a certain way. You have a fantastic awareness of your triggers, below might be able to help you when confronted with them.
1. Practice being transparent, be yourself.
You have worked so hard on being yourself. Remember to express yourself openly and honestly, it will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders (or neck). Don’t hid behind yourself, say how you feel and you will feel better for it, it takes practice, you have seen the impact of being open already, keep it up. Once you get in the habit of making yourself heard, in a kind but firm way, people will be more open to hearing you. Be straightforward, if something bothers you then explain to people why.
2. Be assertive in a way that suits you
Being assertive can be a challenge, start by taking small steps to stand up for yourself. Nothing is too small here, if you get short changed, practice talking to the person behind the till, if you are unhappy with your food, let the waitress know.
As you grow more confident in expressing yourself, 3. When someone attacks, wait them out. Take back the power!
you’re also going to have to learn to face those who want to override you. There will always be people whose personalities are set to attack mode, this is ok, you are strong enough to cope! Remain calm if you feel like someone is trying to bully you. Remember, this is their stuff, not yours! Stand your ground.
4. What is triggering you?
Going with the flow for the purposes of not making waves actually creates more stress and anxiety for yourself. Remember, sometimes saying “Yes” to others may be saying “No” to you! Be brave, facing something that is causing you distress will empower you to make it better. Remember, people can’t read your mind; if you don’t say what is bothering you, no one will know.
5. Clarify first, without attacking.
It’s tempting to take a self-righteous stand, especially if you are sure you are in the right. From your viewpoint, you are justifiably defending yourself against someone who seems to be entirely in the wrong. But it’s important to resist the urge to react with emotion. Instead, take a breath and calmly explain your perspective to them. Try to see things from their point of view, remember, empathy goes a long way. Once we understand why people are acting a certain way, we can make decisions on how we will behave.
8. Stand up for your time.
Time is a precious and limited commodity, and yet we often feel pressured to give it away when we have the ability to say no. You are in control of your own time. Push back when it’s appropriate, use your voice, you have the power.
9. Recognize that no one can invalidate you.
You are you, there is no one in the world like you. Your beliefs, emotions, thoughts and ideas belong to you, and no one else can tell you what you feel or invalidate your opinions.
Likewise, if you seek to invalidate other people’s points of view, you are also sabotaging them. Be kind, be supportive and be yourself. You are number one.
Day to day points that will set me up for the day (a day check list)
During our sessions we did a lot of work on Positive and negative thoughts and the impact these have on our emotions.
Remember: The beast that grows is the one you feed!
Some things that help areA gratitude journalWrite down 3 things at the end of the day that you are grateful for, read them again first thing the next morning Kindness. Every day, do something kind for yourself If you have time, do something kind for someone else Remember your strength, your journey and how far you have come. Remember, if things seem too big, This Too Will Pass.
Points that will help me on my dark days
Remember: You have the strength and the power to get through anything. But the below might helpStop. Take a really slow breath. Don’t skip this one... do it. Count it out. 5 seconds in, hold for 2, and 5 seconds out. Just get in this present moment.Sometimes when it’s all too much, the best thing you can do is unplug. Literally and figuratively. Take a step back from everything. Listen to your body – if you need sleep, have some. If you need food. Have some, check your sugars. Self-medicate with exercise and indulge in nature. Go for a walk on the beach. Have a conversation with the ocean; oceans are never judgmental!Speak to yourself with dignity and respect. Don’t allow any thoughts of self-disrespect to invade your soul.And remember, there is support there for you. And as always, if you need to make and appointment, please get in touch. You are not alone!